IS DATING A GIRL WITHOUT A CAREER A PROBLEM?

You think work schedules, career plans, bigger pay packets and dream of climbing the success ladder and your girl dreams only of you and a good life. In short you are the career guy and she doesn’t have a career on her mind at all! Is it a matter of concern?

Saurabh, 29, an Assistant Director with a production house says it is. He elaborates, “I was dating this very beautiful girl of about 23 who was from a rich family in Chandigarh and was working in a call center. She primarily came to Mumbai to have a blast and to be away from her family. Her folks sent her enough money every month so her own income was like additional moolah for having fun. After a while she got tired of her job and quit it. She dabbled in modeling and acting but not too many offers came by instantly, as she didn’t do the rounds of production houses as often as required. Since she had too much time on hand, she expected me to be around as well. Her demands on my time increased and so did our arguments and fights. The pressure for marriage also built up and the bills of partying as a result of numerous late nights took its toll on my health, work and pocket. The relationship gradually grew too bitter and I still hold her being jobless as the major culprit. That day onwards I swore to myself that I will stay away from girls who aren’t career conscious because then you become the nucleus of their world and handling that kind of attention with a demanding career is impossible.”

Anuj, 26, an IT professional with a leading IT company confesses that he finds girls who give up pursuing a career very unattractive and finds nothing on hand to discuss with them. He says, “Girls who are just looking at settling down post graduation are a big turn off for me. I can’t imagine seeing a girl with no serious career in hand simply because her outlook towards life will be too shallow and she will not be able to understand my world.”

Nirmal, a businessman running a family owned firm disagrees. He says, “I would prefer a girl who is not career conscious at all because in the end it is my duty to run a family and I am man enough to take care of her expenses and can provide her with a comfortable lifestyle. I don’t want my woman fretting it out in a man’s world and working under people.”

Though there may be enough men who think like Nirmal, most career conscious men from the generation X want a woman with a career. Their reasons are simple.

• Only a career woman can fend for her and for the family financially as well as emotionally in case of a crisis.
• A career woman has a world of her own so she does not get too over demanding on the guy’s time.
• She understands work schedules and commitments since she is aware of the pressures of the professional world.
• A career woman has her own perspective so she is more intellectually stimulated, well informed and more grounded – a better match for a career guy.
• She has less time on hand to think of issues and create issues so there is less space for arguments and discontentment.
• In case of a career girl, the financial pressures are shared between the guy and the girl. This also leads both of them to afford a better lifestyle.

But what do you do if you have landed in love with a no career girl?

• Explain to her your priorities and stimulate her to enter a field that interests her. For all you know, you might just get her started on a very stimulating career path.
• Voice your concern about the issue and initiate her to take up a course or pursue a hobby like music, painting or writing professionally. The thrill of having her paintings exhibited and the charm of seeing her name in the by-line of an article might just get her started.

If your attempts at getting her to go serious about a career do not work, look at your own priorities and decide. After all, relating to your partner and being happy in a relationship are two extremely important factors for your bond to grow. So weigh your heart and mind, and take a call!